"Sometimes I wake up & have to remind myself: There is nothing wrong with me. I have patterns to unlearn, new behaviors to embody, and wounds to heal. But there is nothing wrong with the core of me and who I am. I am unlearning generations of harm and remembering love, It takes time. " Yolo Akili
Just a good reminder that healing takes a long time and excuse my language but it is f@#$ing hard work. It is so much harder to stay present with our emotions and to look at the unhealed wounds that are still within us when someone bumps up against them than to lash out or numb them. If you are doing the work I am proud of you! Keep up the good work!
I used to try and push my heavy emotions down and strive for happiness, but I have realized that I would rather be whole. So, I am making room for all of me. The messy parts, the fearful parts, the playful parts, the sad parts, and the wild parts. All parts are welcome here. I am now striving to live with the parts that are here right now; because I have found that when I deny or shame my emotions it is akin to putting wolves in a basement without food or water when they break out they are even more ravenous than when I tried to lock them away. As I start to sense emotions filling my body, slow and deepen my breath and welcome them with curiosity and ask them what they are trying to tell me. And surprisingly when I honor them, they don't seem to stay as long.
An underlying emotion may be trying to let me know that I am living out of alignment with my values, that a boundary of mine was crossed, or that I am afraid of losing something. One thing is for sure, when I take the time to pause and slow down my breath (to regulate my nervous system), notice where I feel the emotion in my body (interoception), ask what it needs or wants (underlying need), and then ask what is going to serve me most to get that need or want, I make better choices and I learn and grow.
